Period of the Homunculi
by Kingsly Grave
Summary: Envy and Greed both experience strange bodily inconveniences that they can't explain! The oh-so wise Lust decides to explain to them what they're going through.


**Author's Note: Mwahaha! I love this concept! What chaos shall ensue with Envy and Greed experiencing bodily inconveniences?! Read on to find out...**

* * *

Envy felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He turned just in time to dodge a rough blow from one of his fellow Homunculi, Greed. The Sin grinned as he dodged yet another blow from the bespectacled man before him.

"You must be losing your spark, Greed." Envy hissed. Greed, angered by the opposing Sin's arrogance, charged forward with swift step. Envy flipped easily away, only provoking Greed all the more.

"Sorry for not being quite as challenging." Greed snapped as he lunged for Envy yet again. Swiftly, he reached out and let his massive hand curl around a dark tendril of Envy's hair. He brought his opponent down. Envy gasped as his head made contact with the ground.

"Looks like they're at it again." Lust sighed. Sloth, who sat nearby, nodded. Gluttony watched Lust's dark eyes study Envy with some sort of strange desire. Though he was quite simple-minded, he still could tell desire when he saw it. Becoming side-tracked with the meal before him, Gluttony resumed his absentminded consumption of what looked to be a human arm.

Envy shifted forms to look like Edward Elric and used the advantage of his automail prosthetic to knock the breath out of Greed. Standing over Greed, Envy pulled back his arm for the final blow, when suddenly, he felt a tightness in his lower abdomen. Unwillingly, the Sin shifted back to his usual form. Seeing Envy's bewilderment, Greed took his chance and kicked upward, striking Envy in the jaw.

"Giving up already, Palm Tree?" Greed mocked as he approached Envy's sprawled out figure. With each step he took, his skin began to turn a rich blue color and thicken into an indestructible hardness. His mouth sported large fangs and his deep-set eyes were wild with excitement. Envy scrambled to his feet but he felt a bit nauseas. The cramp-like pains were stronger now and it made it harder for him to move.

"What's up with you?" Greed pressed as he picked up Envy by the skin-tight garment that covered his chest. Envy struggled for a minute before he felt his mood quickly change to uncontrollable sadness and anger. He kicked Greed in his stomach but to no avail. So, he did the next best thing: he cried.

"Woah!" Greed dropped the sniffling Homunculus in shock. Envy stood and rubbed his damp eyes before glowering at his opponent.

"You're such a jerk." Envy hissed angrily as the tears dried and hot anger replaced his sorrow. Greed, now confused, was about to make a rude comment when he himself felt incredibly woozy. Unwillingly, his skin returned back to its normal tanned, vulnerable form and his jaws now sported normal Homunculi-like teeth. He stared down at his body and looked to Envy, who appeared very amused.

"What's going on with me?" He muttered more to himself than to the Sin in front of him. Envy shrugged.

"Whatever's the matter, it isn't just me that's dealing with it. Sucks for you too."

Greed tried to take a swing at Envy but felt the cramps getting stronger. Lust, who had been watching all along, noticed this and approached them. She crossed her arms and smiled at both the surprised Homunculi.

"Lust, are you feeling strange?" Envy asked, looking to her for guidance. Lust smiled and shook her head.

"Looks like you've guys have finally experienced your periods."

Silence. And then...

"WHAT?!" Greed and Envy yelled simultaneously. Lust chuckled and studied them with a bemused expression.

"As women have their monthly menstrual cycles, both Homunculi men and women deal with a period every so often – not necessarily once a month. It is when your powers suddenly die down and you are extremely vulnerable."

Envy cocked up a dark brow. "And how is it that you know this, Lust?"

Lust sighed. "Dante explained it to me years ago. She told me it was bound to happen to you two sooner or later. You two are the only ones who haven't dealt with their first periods. Perhaps you two weren't _mature_ enough."

Ignoring that maturity jab, Greed cringed. "So you're tellin' me that we have to deal with this every so often?"

Lust nodded.

Envy then asked sheepishly. "Do we...bleed?"

Even Greed had to laugh at this ridiculous question. "No, you idiot!"

"Yes." Lust snapped. Greed's jaw went slack.

"Whaddya mean 'yes?!'" Greed hissed. Lust smiled and nodded to his Homunculus marking.

"Look."

Greed peered down at his hand and watched, with shock, as small orbs of blood began to ooze from his marking. He wiped the blood off but it only continued flowing.

"Don't worry, it'll stop in a few days."

"How long is 'a few days?'" Envy asked as he studied his own marking with great interest. Lust chuckled.

"Depends on the Homunculi. It varies for each of us."

Envy grasped his thigh and sighed, watching the blood run slowly down his leg. "Great. What better way to spend my days than to be vulnerable and bleeding. I feel like a woman!"

"You also look like one too." Greed snickered. Envy tried to hit Greed but failed as he stopped in mid-swing.

"You have probably also noticed similar menstrual cramp-like sensations and mood swings?" Lust continued, eying the men. Both nodded in response. Lust smiled and turned to let them be.

"Enjoy your period."


End file.
